Poem by my daughter in Grade 2!
Saturday, May 17, 2014
Thursday, May 1, 2014
The Journey
Recently i was at a dinner with some very close friends and one of the friends asked me why i had stopped writing. I answered him that i just could not find the spark to write. But i have been thinking about this question. I do enjoy writing so why did i stop. Did i stop seeing the spark? Or did i see the spark but just not have the energy or desire to stop and feel it?
Yes, there is an element of life feeling so overwhelming that you do not have the energy to focus internally. I think this is what happened with me. My weight jumped back to almost the same level it was in December 2012 when i took the steps to control my life and health. I was constantly playing tower defense games on my phones, those mindless, addictive games that numb your mind.
I was floating. I was not focusing on my internal issues and was just unwilling to stop and assess my life and my decisions.
Then my daughter comes to me one day and she says to me, You have to stop playing those games. It numbs your mind. I thought she was just repeating something she had heard and did not pay much heed to it. But then, one day she told me how she got up one morning and from the time she got up, to the time she got on to her bus and got off to school, all her thoughts and focus was on the game she was playing the night before on the iPad. That next morning, i got up and got in a taxi and got off to work and i found that all my thoughts and focus was on the game i was playing. It really made me wonder if a 11 year old was realising that the game was numbing her mind, was the same happening to me?
So i told myself, that i would try a day without the game. I got up and as i had no game to play, as i got into the taxi to work, my mind started focusing on the day ahead and what i needed to do. As i got to my computer, i was already clear on my goals for the day. That was an efficient day.
Then when i got home, my normal routine would be to play the game till i felt so sleepy i would just nod off. This time, i suddenly had time and i started reading. And i got hooked on the book i was reading Enders Game by Orson Scott Card.
That day was almost 1 and a half months ago. Since then, i have read more than 15 books, i have found that my communication skills and my ability to hold conversations better. I had become more focused at work and in all honesty i think i had become a better father and partner as well.
So where was the spark? I realised that i was starting to think more creatively and now i felt like i wanted to feel the spark. I was not hiding anymore.
Last night, i was reading a book of poetry - 10 poems to change your life. Now i am not a big reader of poetry but i do think that an author who can write poetry and lyrics that strike the reader's heart and mind, is an author of authors. I bet every writer would ask to have such a voice that with small prose and poise, they convey strength, beauty, ache and desire and nobility.
I came across this in this book of poetry. Now this particular poem was not powerful in a line or two but i think as a whole, the poem spoke to me that in life, we have to hear our voice, we have to be true to that voice and as her last line says - to save the only life we can.
The author was Mary Oliver and who knows what struggles she had but thats the beauty about poetry, it is always personal and subject to the reader's perception. The title of this spark to me, is The Journey.
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
though the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognised as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do-----
determined to save
the only life that you could save.
Yes, there is an element of life feeling so overwhelming that you do not have the energy to focus internally. I think this is what happened with me. My weight jumped back to almost the same level it was in December 2012 when i took the steps to control my life and health. I was constantly playing tower defense games on my phones, those mindless, addictive games that numb your mind.
I was floating. I was not focusing on my internal issues and was just unwilling to stop and assess my life and my decisions.
Then my daughter comes to me one day and she says to me, You have to stop playing those games. It numbs your mind. I thought she was just repeating something she had heard and did not pay much heed to it. But then, one day she told me how she got up one morning and from the time she got up, to the time she got on to her bus and got off to school, all her thoughts and focus was on the game she was playing the night before on the iPad. That next morning, i got up and got in a taxi and got off to work and i found that all my thoughts and focus was on the game i was playing. It really made me wonder if a 11 year old was realising that the game was numbing her mind, was the same happening to me?
So i told myself, that i would try a day without the game. I got up and as i had no game to play, as i got into the taxi to work, my mind started focusing on the day ahead and what i needed to do. As i got to my computer, i was already clear on my goals for the day. That was an efficient day.
Then when i got home, my normal routine would be to play the game till i felt so sleepy i would just nod off. This time, i suddenly had time and i started reading. And i got hooked on the book i was reading Enders Game by Orson Scott Card.
That day was almost 1 and a half months ago. Since then, i have read more than 15 books, i have found that my communication skills and my ability to hold conversations better. I had become more focused at work and in all honesty i think i had become a better father and partner as well.
So where was the spark? I realised that i was starting to think more creatively and now i felt like i wanted to feel the spark. I was not hiding anymore.
Last night, i was reading a book of poetry - 10 poems to change your life. Now i am not a big reader of poetry but i do think that an author who can write poetry and lyrics that strike the reader's heart and mind, is an author of authors. I bet every writer would ask to have such a voice that with small prose and poise, they convey strength, beauty, ache and desire and nobility.
I came across this in this book of poetry. Now this particular poem was not powerful in a line or two but i think as a whole, the poem spoke to me that in life, we have to hear our voice, we have to be true to that voice and as her last line says - to save the only life we can.
The author was Mary Oliver and who knows what struggles she had but thats the beauty about poetry, it is always personal and subject to the reader's perception. The title of this spark to me, is The Journey.
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
though the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognised as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do-----
determined to save
the only life that you could save.
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